OCTOPLUG

Connection specialist who’s never met a device he can’t sync. With eight tentacles that end in every type of cable and connector imaginable—USB, HDMI, ethernet, power plugs, headphone jacks, charging cables—he’s the universal adapter that makes incompatible things talk to each other. Each tentacle operates independently, can charge multiple devices simultaneously, transfer data at ridiculous speeds, and somehow never gets tangled (which defies all known laws of cable physics). He’s got USB-A for the old-school equipment, USB-C for the new stuff, ethernet for when WiFi fails, and at least three mystery connectors that he swears “you’ll need eventually.” He spends his free time organizing cables by bandwidth capacity and silently judging your charging habits.